Damn Lucky

they're mine
to have the best husband
and thanking the stars I wised up and 'kept the good one'
we're close
we talk
we listen
we enjoy being each other
each other's company
each other's thoughts

Damn Lucky . . .
I have a stable unit
a stable group of friends I can rely on
a stable family life
a stable life

Damn Lucky . . .
We have a new day to wake up to
we have each other
we have life

Recently Dad's biopsy results came in and they weren't so "lucky"
He'll have to have surgery
probably in June
He has cancer

He seems fine
he seems normal
he jokes like my dad
he teases the kids like my dad
he avoids babysitting time like my dad

but somewhere there's an awful bug that just won't go away.

We're kept pretty in the dark.
He hasn't let on.
Good thing there's mom.
She'll spill the beans.

It's all a waiting game now.

It's teaching me to live more in the moment.
It's pushing me to re-evaluate me. my life. where I am. where I want to be.

I need to stress less about the little things (isn't there a book about that)
I need to embrace each moment. each experience. good or bad.
I need to live it up.

And to some extent I think I do this. I live this.

But in the mundane day-to-day chore of dishes, laundry, cleaning, driving and all that jazz, I sometimes forget. Kids live in the moment. They're into instant gratification. They're into the here and now. And I like that just fine. Soon enough they'll have to worry about college applications. prom. cars. career choices. midterms. bill. all the good stuff.

For now, we can just concentrate on playing with trains and looking for 'fancy' dresses. NOT princess dresses but fancy dress up clothes. The princess topic will be for another day. another blog entry.

For now, I need to get to bed and rest up for the new day.

Tomorrow I will:
drink coffee
make breakfast
drop off the girl
get work done
write those damned thank you notes that haunt me
make lunch for the boy
put him down for a nap - because my parents won't
pick up the girl
make dinner
put away the laundry that I finished tonight
play
sleep

oh my, I'm tired already.

xo
me